An Interview With Starvo
Q: Welcome Starvo, may we call you that?
A: Starvo hungry.
Q: Can we offer you something to eat?
A: Pies, Starvo needs more meta pies.
Q: Right, that’s actually a good place to start. What are your thoughts on the metagame? After the first ProQuest week you accounted for 47% of the wins and represented 22% of the decks played. Was this what you expected?
A: Starvo sad because he wanted more pie. 47 pies percent is not enough to make funny Pac-Man shape.
Q: So you were expecting 75-80% of the wins?
A: Hmph (gestures hands in the shape of a pie)
Q: This is very ambitious for a new champion. How did people figure you out so quickly?
A: LSS give Starvo hard ability, counting all the time. Starvo not sure why everyone wants to count like Starvo, counting is hurting.
Q: Can you demonstrate this counting?
A: (count’s on fingers) One, two, three elements…(continues on fingers) plus 2 dominate, plus eleven domin– DOUBLE DOMINATE (pounds the table).
Q: And then 4 more from Winter’s Wail?
A: (inhales sharply) Who told you?
Q: We are all used to it now…
A: You know Lexi and Oldman? They pitch and then have to fuse (chuckles and farts and then chuckles more because of the fart). Starvo can fuse then pitch, eh? (flexes biceps rapidly)
Q: Are you worried about a potential ban? LSS went after runeblade when it had this much of a hold on the meta?
A: Rumblades have deep card pool, Starvo has deeper. Starvo has hundred pie percent of TOS set.
Q: Aria? Tales of–
A: Starvo.
Q: Got it. What about your living legend status? You are over half way there and you have been tournament legal for a month.
A: Starvo will talk to LSS about Living Lettuces.
Q: Let’s go back to Runeblade. What’s your take on the “Seeds” Banning?
A: (Grabs interviewer by the throat) Who ban Crown!? You? Starvo need way to make 5 card hands, reduce damage, rotate arsenal, increase chance of fusing, dodge CnC and use a tunic counter! How else will Starvo do all this things without seeds? Gimme my seeds back.
Q: I was talking about Seeds of Agony.
A: Puny rumblade seeds. Starvo seeds are better.
Q: Tell us about some of the other equipment you use?
A: Hard helmet, green dress, hulk hands, santa shoes, chilly shield, spooky lamp, shiny shield
Q: Spooky Lamp?
A: Spooky lamp make Starvo not feel rumchants.
Q: Arcane lantern? That’s Everfest, one of your sets.
A: Starvo want funnel cake in off hand.
Q: Can we discuss Prism? She went from 18.9% of wins in week 1 to 26.6% in week 2. What do you think made her increase in simultaneous representation, top 8 conversions and overall wins?
A: (confused look)
Q: Pies…
A: Prism tooked meta pies from Starvo?!
Q: Perhaps. People are saying her auras can be oppressive when sequenced properly.
A: Prism Waifu.
Q: She has the ability to counter your play style. How do you clear auras?
A: Starvo already told you about counting. Starvo counting big numbers while Prism makes small numbers.
Q: Prism also has heralds which can hit as hard as some of your attacks.
A: Starvo has all +6 attacks.
Q: What about spectral shields?
A: Starvo count to 40 before Prism.
Q: What is your favorite card?
A: Oaken Oldman.
Q:How is this not an Oldhim specialization?
A: Starvo not reading cards. I can use Oaken Oldman?
Q: You have been for the past several weeks. Getting hit with it fused and your ability is one of the “feel bads” in the game right now.
A: This is put two cards on bottom of library?
Q: Was this supposed to be an Oldhim specialization?
A: Yes.
Q: What happened?
A: Starvo talk to LSS.
Q: Is there anything else you would like to add to this interview?
A: Starvo hungry, Starvo want more pie.
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About the Author
Evan McGrew is an active member of the FABTCGDC group and 1/2 of the creative force behind FAB TCG CARDS’ playmats. He enjoys helping grow the local community one player at a time. When he is not putting counters on his Dawnblade, Evan teaches 5th grade in Fairfax, VA.